Fish Me

This next ramble was actually supposed to be about how my feet are dragging itself forward, on and on...

Walking, I felt like my feet were dragging one before another
It didn't feel like I was doing the walking
I didn't feel the pain

Then I saw a Kingfisher
And I wondered
My King, won't You fish me out from this pit I'm in?

An Interior Monologue: A Bloddy Mess

O look what I've done
I think we need some damage control
My sin has found me out
Why am I still dealing with this, now?
All it has done and will do is leave me empty and wanting more
I'm obssessed
Gorge my eyes out
I need a total inside makeover
I need a heart transplant
Burn these things out of mind
Have I had enough?
What do I choose?
I am wretched, scum, filth, shit
Do I choose Love and Life
Or Evil and Death
O the strain on my soul
The pull of Good and Evil
What mess?
I can only manage, a collision of dunno what
I feel like puking
But I'm so hungry
Can I eat and pray more than people who do not eat at all?
Does not eating make my prayers more effective?
What happens when a prayer is uttered by someone vile but seeking a way out?
God hears that too, right? Right
I'm that vile
No?
But all have sinned and fall short the Glory of God
My God my God
I need you
To whom shall I go Lord?
Turn my eyes to You?
But I cannot see
Blessed are those who not see and yet believe
I believe, help me with my unbelief
How come I know so many scriptures but I still feel like this?
Trust is a must
Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not upon thine own understanding
I don't want to be gnostic Lord
I want to be epignostic, if there's such a word
Does this ever end?
Will I ever get over this?
Maybe but should I get over this
Satan will surely send other things my way
And God will allow it and use it for His Glory
For my own good and for His Glory
I cannot do this on my own
Really cannot make it
This struggle will never end, the essence is the same, only in different forms
Help me God, please help me
Not that I'd be made much of
But that You'll be Glorified
Please?

God Says it Better

You know it's one thing to encourage someone with your own words and another to encourage someone with words directly out of the Bible.

God somehow always says it better than man, (duh) and the peace that comes with hearing the Word of God is serenity for those who fear Him.

It's terrible for those who do not honour Him, it can provoke thoughts and wake a soul up from spiritual slumber.

But "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction." - Proverbs 1:7

So I suppose it's a good thing if you fear the Lord! Fear Him, Fear His wrath, Fear dishonouring Him.

Know Him, know His Grace and Mercies, know His Love.

We Are Upward Bound

Yes we are, not we were.

Just because the youth camp is over doesn't mean we have to go back to our life and live as the world does. We can live as God has intended us to!

We have been to the Most Holy Place and have tasted the presence of God. Do you know what this means? It means our lives have to change, because we cannot enter into a Holy God's presence and not feel the weight of our sins. We must have a desire to be Holy!

We must live a holy life as is fitting for Saints of God, in our public and private lives and in our dealings with people. Not just with people we like but also with people we don't like! Likeable people are easy to love but the real test comes when we meet the so-called unlikeable people! Can you imagine if God loved us according to how likeable we were?!

Remember, Jesus calls us the salt of the earth and light of the world? He doesn't tell us to try to be, instead Christians are simply supposed to be this salt and light!

You may agree wholeheartedly right now! But remember the final DG we had? Our spiritual act of worship is not just in our hearts but with our bodies too! (Rom. 12:1-2)

Consider also this verse:

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:16

So no matter where we are, be it at home, school, work or church, or even alone, let us live a life worthy of our calling!

Sounds tough doesn't it? It'd be tough if we tried it on our own strength, but remember Philipians 4:13? We can do all things with Christ who strengthens us! Cliché? Maybe, but it's true! Learn how to rely on God's strength!

So now, since we have received such a great blessing of God's presence, let us not be like the Dead Sea, having only input and no output! Let us bless someone and shine for the Glory of God! Let us continue this journey from glory to glory! We are Upward Bound!

Salty Sweets

Have you ever wondered why phlegm when caused by excessive sugar tastes salty? Haha..

Progression of science, Regression of Truth

How is it scientists/doctors/inventors have come thus far in the science of things, yet it seems the study of Theology has got us more confused than ever, even though there's technically only One true God and One Truth, and really One Text. (Yes I'm biased, I am a Bible-believing Christian, you know?)

Aren't we supposed to get better with a subject as we spend more time on it?

We have found cures for diseases that wiped out hundreds at a time hundreds of years ago (even have vaccines for some!), we have invented machines that look into our bones/stomachs and see what's wrong with our bodies, we have built flying machines that take us out to space and we have constructed skyscrapers that stick their roofs into clouds...

We have achieved much materially, harnessed the world's energies and improved our lives greatly.

However, we are more divided than ever when it comes to truth. You may call it human advancement with the many religions that we have, each with their individual spiritual wants fulfilled. I call it a great state of confusion with regards to truth.

Some can say I'm narrow-minded but I'm fully convicted that if truth is truth, then it's absolute. Consider these words by C. S. Lewis, consider these words by C. S. Lewis, "Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."

Stay with me, read on.

What do you think? Do you think that the World is any closer to finding the truth or are we looking in all the wrong places?

I believe I'm walking in the way of Truth, God's word is Truth (no less), I'm not saying that I've attained spiritual superiority, I'm not perfect, I'm only forgiven. Forgiven to fellowship with God, to know the one true God and see His glory (psst, that's eternal life defined by the Bible).

If you are sincerely and humbly seeking for truth, I believe God will be gracious and reveal Himself to you, after all He promises that those who seek will find.

Apologia

2 Peter 3:15b

"[A]lways being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you"

I used to be very into apologetics, I enjoyed the demolishing of arguments and intellectuallism but it was kinda empty, it was a zeal for Christianity, not Christ. Perhaps God was dealing with my mind and all the mental obstacles that were there (or not).

I always thought that apologetics were there to defend our faith against the skeptics, critics and atheists who seek to discount the credibility of everything that Christianity stands for, never have I imagined that I'll have to defend my faith against a Christian.

When such things happen, who is right? What is the Court of Appeal? Because there is one truth and I believe it's all in the Bible, the very Word of God.

My thoughts are in shambles, I'll post another time..